Title: Joyride
Fandom: Iron Man
Characters/Pairings: Tony/Pepper, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Agent Coulson, various NPCs.
Rating: G to PG for some innuendo.
Summary: Tony Stark decides to take a little joyride and ends up reliving his youth and his favorite cartoon show-Speed Racer.
Notes: It seems to me like Tony’d be a Speed Racer Fan. Mechanics, cars that fly- all sorts of things that billionaire boy geniuses can get behind right? Absolutely!

And of course, with all of Ramen’s fics, the game of “Can you spot the Meta?” is in full effect.





Tony Stark was trying not to hum.

Trying not to enjoy the attention that he was currently being afforded. Ever since outing himself as Iron Man it was clear that he wouldn’t get any privacy-so why not enjoy it? Going out in public was an adventure to say the least.

He allowed himself a smile.

A smile no one saw as the commuters along the San Diego Freeway did their best to keep their eyes on the road and on the sky at the same time.

He picked a car at random, a silver Lexus with a blond woman who could almost be hot if not for the perpetual stick up her ass.

“Jarvis?”

“Sir.”

“Let’s go in close.”

He fancied he could feel the AI’s disgust as he adjusted course and blew past the Silver Lexus with his hands out wide. Buzzing cars was the biggest thrill he’d discovered since-since-

Well, Since racing them.

The woman screamed and swerved, nearly knocking into a grumpy looking girl-the complete opposite of the woman in the Lexus. The second driver leaned out her window, shaking a fist and screaming at him.

“What’s she saying?”

Jarvis turned on the external speakers.

“…I’VE GOT FIVE POUNDS OF CHICKEN IN THE TRUNK YOU SONNUVABITCH! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE FLYING IRON MAN! SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK FOR A LIVING!”

That was a slap across Tony Stark’s face that he refused to tolerate. He checked his speed, ignoring Jarvis’s warnings as he zoomed beside the car, “…Hey, I work for a living! I work damn hard for a living! Can you build a suit like this?”

The driver screamed and switched lanes-thankfully into an empty area. She hit the gas-the engine roaring away.

“…She needs her car greased and oiled-probably a tune up in the undercarriage the way it was scraping along the road.”

“Sir…”

Tony took flight again, following above the cars and waving whenever he caught people staring, “I mean, really, can you blame me for wanting to have a little fun? “

“SIR!”

“…Wha-“

Something familiar and motorcycle shaped was weaving in and out of traffic, ignoring the curious stares from pedestrians who checked their speed.

“…Jarvis, can you be ticketed by the CHP when you’re flying?”

“California Penal Code states-“

“Okay, forget the penal code, let’s uh…let’s settle this later.” He gunned the turbos, “…Like back at home.”

The leisurely pace he took was apparently more then enough for the motorcycle cop who was doing his damndest to match him. Stark found himself looking down as the young cop sped after him.

“Jarvis?”

“…That’s Officer Downey Sir.” Jarvis piped up, “…Six years on the force, two as a motorcycle police officer. He has an excellent record and has…well until recently never lost a suspect.”

“…. I was going to ask if you’d put on something good for racing but now I think I’m looking into where you suddenly got Mind-Reading powers.” Stark blinked, “…Since when can you read what you think are my thoughts?”

“Sir, I recommend we slow down and allow officer Downey to keep his perfect record.”

Stark pictured what coulson would say.

“…Jarvis?”

“Why does this sound like another attempt to run sir?”

“…Some appropriate racing music.”

The speed racer theme song filled Tony Stark’s world. He’d been a fan if only because there were cars and they did crazy things like flying, leaping into the air with blades attached. The idea of an actual Mach 5 crossed his subconscious and flitted away when the police siren once again reached his ears.

Another time.

The music pounded into him, “Jarvis, let’s lower our altitude?”

“Sir, I wouldn’t recommend that. Probability that Officer Downey will catch us or manage a shot-“

“Jarvis, I’m in bulletproof armor and I happen to be Genius. I am fully aware of the statistical advantage I have over this man. Now. LOWER.”

The dip in the altitude ran over the armor, cool fingers and bright sun through the lenses filters. He spun (rather gracefully), dodging a pickup full of interested Mexican men as he threw them a wave.

Downey put on speed and Tony grinned, “…Let’s take it up a notch. Jarvis?”

“Sir.”

“Go Speed Racer-“ His hand stretched out in front of him, “GO!”
--------------

OFFICER Robert Downey had seen many things during his tenure on the police force. They numbered from the ludicrous to the strange, the bizarre to the mundane.

Nothing like what he was seeing now.

When he’d first pegged the flying metal man committing a major traffic violation he’d done a double take-after hearing on the radio that it was billionaire Tony Stark, the self proclaimed Iron Man out for a little joy ride…

Not in my town partner.

He remembered gunning his motorcycle and being fully aware that going this fast was incredibly dangerous. He wove in and out of traffic and counted on Californian’s inborn fear of men on motorcycles wearing khaki to keep him safe.

When the psychopath had jumped in front of a truck full of laborers and waved at them casually that was the final straw.

Okay Iron Man. Let’s see how well you drive.

He hadn’t counted on the souls of the man’s feet lighting up. He hadn’t counted on his hands lighting up. For a brief moment, Tony Stark glowed like the sun.

Nor had he counted on the rocket man accelerating just like the old movie, just like those serials of the nineteen forties-nearly throwing cars aside like toys as he jetted out of there. The impact was lessened-Stark took to the air as he vanished-a pinpoint of light on the horizon.

Downey pulled to the side of the highway and stared after the retreating billionaire turned superhero. He shook his head, “…Damn.”

Several people took the opportunity to gun engines themselves, hapless patrolman staring helplessly at the sky above him.
----------

“Da Da Dum-Da da daum dum…He’s a demon on wheels. He’s a demon and he’s going to be chasing after someone…”

“…Mr. Stark?”

Tony Stark could have sworn his artificial heart skipped a beat. Pepper Potts stood in the doorway, orange hair curled in ringlets over her shoulders. Tony rose, setting aside blueprints for his own personal Mach 5 (The idea had grabbed hold and wouldn’t let go.)

“Miss Potts.”

“What are you doing?” She crossed the workshop floor two steps at a time, studying him.

Embarrassed, he held the papers out for her to see, “…Something that’ll make some fat sad sack incredibly thrilled. You ever watch Speed Racer?”

Pepper frowned, “…That cartoon show-“

“Yeah, “Go speed racer, go speed racer-“ that show. Anyway, I was out yesterday and ended up playing the song on random and…got inspired.”

“You got inspired to build a car from a TV show.”

Her arms were folded across her chest, “…C’mon now, after all we’ve done and been through together-that’s-hell that’s almost normal for me these days.”

“That cartoon show…”

“Yeah, he solved crimes and they all had these great Mod inspired clothes. Best thing Japan ever did for the world apart from the Hibachi converter.” He pushed the papers away, “…What’s on your mind Miss Potts?”

Pepper tilted her head to the side, looking at the designs, “…He drove a car? Speed Racer?”

Tony wondered where she was going, “…Hence the theme song.”

“…What’d he do? Was it just the Japanese version of NASCAR?” She flipped over a page, intrigued, “…I mean, just a guy racing?”

“Well he solved crimes and such.” Tony said, “…And he wasn’t in the habit of saying very much about his intended goal except the most basic information. Something I respected him for.”

“…Wasn’t that due to poor budget on the show’s part?” Pepper peered at the design, “Are you going to paint it like the actual car?”

“Maybe.”

“What, no Red and Gold?”

“…You’ve never shown much interest in what colors I like to use before.” She was hiding something, “…What, did you want one?”

Pepper favored him with the sexiest smile he’d ever seen and he found his mouth opening and closing, “…Y’know.”

Somehow words were still coming form him.

“…Y’know, Trixie was Speed’s Girlfriend? And she had a helicopter. I could build you one of those-give you lessons in how to fly it. Seems more your speed. I bet you’d love to fly.”

“…Maybe I’d like to fly with you.”

Okay, That was a little too close to home, “…Pepper…”

“…The next time you incite the City of San Diego to a near riot.” She dropped the paper in front of him. The Tagline to the Union Tribune blared across the front-black and white for all to see. BILLIONAIRE JOYRIDE

His eyes closed, “…Pepper-“

“Sir, not to be rude…” Jarvis’s voice trailed off, “There are some men at the door who’d like to speak to you.”

“I’m not at home.”

“They seem quite insistent sir.”

“I’ll handle it.” Pepper stood up, moving quickly out of the room and ignoring his imploring gaze after her. He straightened, opening the paper to a front-page photograph. Startling color-iron man waving at a truck filled with men. Someone was a damn good photographer.

He noted the man’s name and promised to hire him away from the Union Tribune as he scanned the rest of the article. Ninety percent of the people had been amused but there was some damage-one of the cars had tipped over.

No one was hurt. Thank god.

“…All in all, San Diegans were given a major treat today as Billionaire Tony Stark soared over the skies of Miramar…” He’d been testing his long-range flight capabilities-truth be told-but it was nice to get some good press out of it.

He’d auction off the Mach 5 to benefit those people. Ooops. My bad.

“…Tony?”

Pepper’s voice filtered into the workshop, “…I’ll be right up.”

His good will evaporated when he realized that the man Pepper had invited in was the District Attorney of San Diego. It got even worse when he saw whom he’d brought along. Agent coulson did not look amused to be back in Tony Stark’s presence.

He offered them a lopsided grin, “…Have either of you seen Speed Racer?”

They both shook their heads. Stark sighed, taking a seat. This was going to be a long day. Teach me not to buzz random cities.

He’d buzz Burbank next time.